August 28th, 2010 |
Personal
New house. New Job. New Life. Moving to Las Vegas has been all about new things for us. In a sense, it’s a new start… For Arianna it’s a new school and new friends. It’s all about new experiences. My thoughts when moving out here was to try to make all of our dreams come true – whatever that meant, I guess I wasn’t sure. All I knew is that I wanted to have a new refreshed outlook on life. Jen and I have been together for over 17 years and we have seen the best and worst of times together. Moving out to Vegas was one of those riskier moments in a sense, but the circumstances were right and we felt that it was time to make the plunge. So we did. And on June 30, nearly 2 months ago, we were on our way with one-way airline tickets in hand.
We have a great family and we are all close. The three of us have so much to be thankful for, but there has been something from this family for a while. If you don’t know, Jen and I are unable to have anymore children. Arianna was a perfectly planned pregnancy, but we realized soon thereafter that there were issues. Jen almost died from a ruptured ectopic pregnancy 2 years after Arianna was born. And years of unsuccessful attempts, both before and after the ectopic. It wasn’t until 3 years ago that we finally went to a specialist together to get some answers. And to my shock, it was not just Jen that had issues, it was me as well. Basically we were informed that a natural pregnancy was not possible without IVF, and even then, the chance was only about 20%. Not to mention that it cost over $30,000. So, you can imagine what we thought about that.
For years, Jen wanted to adopt from Russia or Ukraine. Then she thought we should foster. Then back to the Ukraine. Then back to fostering to adopt. Back and forth. I had no interest in disrupting the family that we had, but always thought about it. I can’t tell you how many times my heart was torn, wanting to do something, but unable to make a decision… Nor did I want to give any false hopes to Jen, so I kept it all to myself. But Jen is not a dummy… She could tell when I was emotional and leaning towards saying the magic words. We would get on the topic and my expressions would give it all away, but my words said otherwise. I am not a very good liar. Never have been.
Fast forward to July 2010. Jen and I are yet again discussing the whole foster-to-adopt thing. Her idea is to get a child around Arianna’s age. This time the conversation is in front of Arianna. Now I got them both on me about it, but not in a bad way… In “our” way, just little pokes, but pokes that always tug on my heart strings.
A few days later, Arianna and I go to the store, and she asks me if I would consider a foster child. We had a long talk about it. We talked about all of the things that could happen… Things that could disrupt the family we have become so used to. But Arianna said it was worth a try and if it didn’t work out, we could “send the kid back.” I know that sounds kind of cold, but compatibility is very important, especially when you have a child that is Arianna’s age. I told her I would think about it, but I told her not to mention it to her Mom… We wouldn’t want to get her hopes up.
About a week later, I decided that I would give in to my family’s desires and try this foster thing. Truthfully, though, it was something that I decided that I wanted to do as well. After all of the sorrow and tragedy that we went through years ago, perhaps this was something that was positive that we could do… Not out of the ashes of despair or emotional recovery… That was so long ago. This could be something that we could do just because we had the love to give. There is no despair now. We have grown and moved on way past that. Now maybe we, or maybe I can say, maybe “I” can do this because it is not as a result of a tragedy, but it is just plain genuine.
We had to go to an orientation for prospective foster and adoptive parents. The 3 of us went to the meeting together. I was both excited and nervous about it, but there was no turning back. We filled out the paperwork for the background check and were told that we would get a call in about a week if we passed the check. We could then move to the next step in the process. And about a week later, on a Tuesday I got the call from Family Services telling me that we passed the background check and that we were to come in and proceed to the next step.
I received another call that day.
Continue Reading…
July 31st, 2010 |
Personal
I thought that I would love it living here in Las Vegas. Turns out I am wrong. We caught an early plane June 30 and arrived about 5 hours early. As I got off the plane, I could feel the heat infiltrate my gizzards, and I knew that it could only get worse. I was so excited to finally arrive in Vegas, but the hot sun and blue sky was just too much for me to handle. I hailed a cab to take us home and within 30 minutes, we were in our new home. After going out to eat and chilling out for a while, we came home. We were only home for a few hours, and Arianna wanted to have a sleep over at her friend’s house next door. She was so excited so we said yes. Jen and I went on the rooftop deck where we could see the Las Vegas strip glowing in the darkness. The thing about having a rooftop deck next to the mountains is that a cool breeze blows and the outside is so tranquil. And all I could think about is how much I hated this place.
A day or two later, we decided to go to the park in our community. Man, it was hot. Arianna was playing with other kids in the fountain as Jen and I sat under a shaded area. In the distance I saw an ice cream truck. I asked Arianna if she wanted an ice cream, and of course, she wanted one. So we proceeded over to the truck and she placed her order. The lady told us that it was free, and invited us to have as much as we wanted. What??? Free? Come back and have more? Man, I hate it here..
We went to the school to sign Arianna up… The administrators were all so nice. The school seemed so nice – carpeted halls, etc… No trailers like in PA. And all I could think about is how much I hate this place.
The other day we went to one of these video poker bar places. If you have ever been to Las Vegas (and left the confines of “the Strip”), you know what these places are. We decided to go for Happy Hour – with Arianna. So, in addition to having 1/2 off drinks and appetizers, we decided to play pool. Now where I come from, kids cannot play pool in a bar. But this place was different. I put in $1.00, and we all played pool as we took turns eating steamers from our table. And there was a Claw Machine with lobsters inside a tank. Get the lobster with the claw and they will cook it for you for free. And you know what? I hate it here.
Arianna is having such a hard time adapting to the change. Our first night here, she had a sleepover at the neighbor’s house. In fact, she had a sleepover 4 out of 5 nights I think – some of the nights were at our house. She must hate it too.
Our neighbors? Forget it. I don’t know about these people… Before we left PA, we had to ship our cars via an auto transport, but they had to be delivered before we got there due to scheduling issues. Our Las Vegas neighbor Bob took delivery of our vehicles before I even arrived! These neighbors, Bob and Lisa, fed our Yankee asses with some southern fixins several times and made us realize that we really do like pulled pork. Only Alabama-style. They made us feel so comfortable here – like we had “real friends” in Las Vegas. Well, everybody knows, Vegas people are plastic. Even Vegas people from Alabama. I freaking hate it here…
OK, I love it here! Las Vegas has so much excitement and is very different than anyplace I have ever lived. It is nothing like New York or Philadelphia – in fact it is different than any city that I have ever been to. People from “back home” think we are partying and gambling every night on the strip. Nothing but strippers and drinking. I don’t want to change your perception… It’s all what you think. I have become a gambling degenerate and Jen is collecting dollar bills in her G-string.
UPDATE 8/16/2010: For those of you who cannot tell, this blog is 100% sarcastic! I can’t believe some of you people that think that I actually hate it here… Go back and read the blog!
June 24th, 2010 |
Las Vegas,
Personal,
What's Going On
(Bye bye Mini Cooper and Old Blue Truck!)
Jen and I are sitting in an empty house with nothing but a folding chair, folding table, a 13″ TV, some food, and our computers. At least we still have internet and DirecTV for a few days! Actually, we have our bed until Sunday, but then the people we sold it to pick up. So, we borrowed an air mattress from Robin for Sunday night. I think we are going to go to my grandparents from Monday to Tuesday, so we will be fine. In the interim, we are car-less and stranded here. I am waiting for a call back from the rental car agency, so hopefully I can have a car later this afternoon.
I have to say… This has been an incredible experience. The goodbyes that I have had in the past week have been a bit sad, but that’s life I guess. In the immortal words of John Fisher, I prefer to say “Ciao” instead of “Goodbye”. I have been blessed with being surrounded by some amazing people in my life – from family, to friends, and colleagues. I will miss them all as I begin my next chapter in life, but this is the path that needs to be taken. And I am looking forward to turning the page.
To be continued…
June 16th, 2010 |
Las Vegas,
Personal
I am often asked what I like about Las Vegas so much… So I decided to outline the things that I like and the things that I will miss when I leave the Northeast.
What I like about Las Vegas:
- Weather – Hot in the summer, warm in the spring and fall, mild in the winter. I like the dry weather, but just because it’s dry does not make the summer heat any less intense.
- Nature – I love the mountains, the National Parks, the desert, Lake Mead, the Colorado River, etc… There’s something about the west that is captivating
- Food – Las Vegas has some of the best restaurants in the world.
- Entertainment – I can see a show or concert and not have to make an entire day out of it. There are lots of things to do beyond “the strip”. There are lots of community activities and events. I am looking forward to having all of this in my backyard without having to make it an all day event, like I would have to do now.
- City benefits without being in the “city” – Las Vegas is unique in its composition. Our house is in a very nice neighborhood, surrounded by nice neighborhoods. It is not like the suburbs of New York or Philadelphia at all. If you came to our house in Las Vegas and were not told that you were in Las Vegas, you’d think you were in a regular town in the west.
- New Opportunities – There is a world of new opportunities for me. It’s all new… Going from a small town to a big city opens up a world of new things for anyone.
What I will miss about the Northeast:
- Rain – I love rain, especially at night in the summer. I love falling asleep to the rain.
- Family – I’ve had them all close for all of my life, so this will be a change.
- Friends – I will certainly miss them as well.
- Fall – I love the changing of the leaves in the Fall, especially in the mountains. (But I won’t miss it that much)
- Animals – My backyard is like a zoo. Deer, squirrels, turkeys, chipmunks, groundhogs, birds and foxes.
What I will NOT miss about the Northeast:
- Snow, sleet, ice, freezing rain – Need I say more? I am all done. If I desire snow, I’ll go skiing or sledding at Mt. Charleston, about 30 minutes away. No more snow plows or shoveling. No more driving in icy or snowy road conditions.
- Lawns – I do not have a green thumb. I’m tired of cutting the lawn, mulching, weeding, etc… Bring on the desert landscape!
- Bugs – Bees, hornets, mosquitoes, gnats.
- Taxes – State Income Tax and Local Tax. When my PA house finally sells, I will add Property Tax and School tax to this list.
June 1st, 2010 |
Family
Today is the 21st anniversary of the passing of my grandfather Vernon Perroots. Reflecting back, I have missed him my entire adult life. Perhaps because he is the first person that I had ever lost. I was only 16 years old, but 21 years later, he is still in my heart.
